No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
