pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
