i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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