we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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