return my video game
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
