your parents love me but you hate me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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