At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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