your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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