Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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