Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
