i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
