who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
