hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
