Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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