It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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