So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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