I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
