Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
