that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I am available for nakedness
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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