i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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