Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
