The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
