does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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