i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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