OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
