ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
