and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
