The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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