Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
