I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
