my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
it glows. i had to have it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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