I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
