everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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