The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
