Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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