why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
