There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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