Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
