I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
