He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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