just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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