So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
