areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
