Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
