jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
They have beer where we have blood.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
