I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
