it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
