It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
