You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
