Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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