well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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